an interesting read (from a previous post)

An interesting article forwarded to me via e-mail. Nothing I wrote but I believe its something useful for all of us. So take a read, if you want to and skip it if you want to as well.

"A nice article for the married, soon to be married, and waiting to be married... Food for thought and in the words of Fr. Pedro Arrupe, SJ:

THE RIGHT PERSON?

During one of our seminars, a woman asked a common question. She said, "How do I know if I married the right person?"

I noticed that there was a large man sitting next to her so I said, "It depends. Is that your husband?" In all seriousness, she answered "How do you know?" Let me answer this question because the chances are good that it's weighing on your mind.

Here's the answer.

EVERY relationship has a cycle. In the beginning, you fell in love with your spouse. You anticipated their call, wanted their touch, and liked their idiosyncrasies.

Falling in love with your spouse wasn't hard. In fact, it was a completely natural and spontaneous experience. You didn't have to DO anything. That's why it's called "falling" in love... because it's happening TO YOU. People in love sometimes say, "I was swept of my feet." Think about the imagery of that ___expression. It implies that you were just standing there; doing nothing, and then something came along and happened TO YOU.

Falling in love is easy. It's a passive and spontaneous experience.

But after a few years of marriage, the euphoria of love fades. It's the natural cycle of EVERY relationship. Slowly but surely, phone calls become a bother (if they come at all), touch is not always welcome (when it happens), and your spouse's idiosyncrasies, instead of being cute, drive you nuts.

The symptoms of this stage vary with every relationship, but if you think about your marriage, you will notice a dramatic difference between the initial stage when you were in love and a much duller or even angry subsequent stage.

At this point, you and/or your spouse might start asking, "Did I marry the right person?" And as you and your spouse reflect on the euphoria of the love you once had, you may begin to desire that experience with someone else. This is when marriages breakdown. People blame their spouse for their unhappiness and look outside their marriage for fulfillment.

Extramarital fulfillment comes in all shapes and sizes. Infidelity is the most obvious. But sometimes people turn to work, church, a hobby, a friendship, excessive TV, or abusive substances.

But the answer to this dilemma does NOT lie outside your marriage. It lies within it. I'm not saying that you couldn't fall in love with someone else. You could. And TEMPORARILY you'd feel better. But you'd be in the same situation a few years later. Because (listen carefully to this):

THE KEY TO SUCCEEDING IN MARRIAGE IS NOT FINDING THE RIGHT PERSON; IT'S LEARNING TO LOVE THE PERSON YOU FOUND.

SUSTAINING love is not a passive or spontaneous experience. It'll NEVER just happen to you. You can't "find" LASTING love. You have to "make" it day in and day out. That's why we have the expression "the labor of love." Because it takes time, effort, and energy. And most importantly, it takes WISDOM. You have to know WHAT TO DO to make your marriage work.

Make no mistake about it. Love is NOT a mystery. There are specific things you can do (with or without your spouse) to succeed with your marriage.

Just as there are physical laws of the universe (such as gravity), there are also laws for relationships. Just as the right diet and exercise program makes you physically stronger, certain habits in your relationship WILL make your marriage stronger. It's a direct cause and effect. If you know and apply the laws, the results are predictable... you can "make" love.

Love in marriage is indeed a "decision"... not just a feeling.

Another year, has come and gone

Every year for the past 4 years, I wait in anticipation for the second week of July to arrive. Plans are made as early as January to ensure that we do not miss the greatest party of the year:

“The rainforest world music festival!” And what a party it was!

With a fantastic line-up gracing the workshops in the afternoon till rocking the house down on the main stage in the evening, it was a none stop party. This year we were fortunate to witness again the amazing vocal range and body slapping movements of the BLACK UMFOLOSI, the adrenaline pumping Celtic sounds of SHANNON (my favourite) and the perfect blend of percussions and rhythm of the ASEANA PERCUSION UNIT (A.P.U)

Justin and Krshna, you guys were on fire!

With all that said, I must take my hat off to one performer who has grown tremendously and transformed into an electrifying energy on stage…The son AINAL from TABUH PAK AINAL. As young as he is, he proved to be a seasoned performer pumping the crowd at every opportunity…even when he was not performing. This kid will go far and will be a name to remember.

The party however would not have been complete if it weren’t for the people who came in the thousands. Most would not have been fans of world music but as soon as the show got started, all hearts were in sync. One music, One beat, A world united as one.

Of course the constant flow of alchohol and Dr. Green Thumbs medication intensified the experience and took us all to a whole new level. Chief, you are brilliant. My buddies, I shall not forget this experience and I thank each and every one of you. I will miss you guys for sure.

To those who had captured a special place in my heart, (you know who you are) I miss you already and how I wish I could see you soon. The times spent with you were absolutely amazing. It is these moments that make me wish the festival had lasted just that bit longer. I do wish that the stars and the forces of nature would align itself ensuring that our paths cross soon.

On the day we were flying back, whilst waiting at the airport I read an article written by K.P. Waran and I quote:

“As for those so-called music maniacs, headphones on and lost in their world of hip hop far from the picturesque Santubong mountain vicinity, I feel sorry for you. You missed the greatest party of the year.”

I couldn’t agree more.

Well, its time again to plan for next year and wait in anticipation. Hopefully you’ll be there too.

the 9-hearted state

My adventure with the Digi's Amazing Malaysians this time takes me on a wonderful journey to negeri sembilan. A neighbouring state filled with culture and active in the preservation of their heritage, one of which is the Randai dance.

Its a synchronised dance that involves creating beat by slapping the sarong worn. It was simply exciting.

wedding bells

Earlier this month, my cousin sister professed her vows in the presence of God and His church. Here are a few picture from the family walk down memory lane.

writing with intent

If there was ever a day that a book had me so immersed in its pages...Memoirs of a Geisha has to be it.

From the first line that i had read till the last word, i could hear a voice so soft and gentle whispering to me. I felt as if I was seated in that New York apartment with Nitta Sayuri listening to her bring her memories back to life.

Every single moment described in detail that i could almost see it through her own eyes. I could see every stone payment that she walked on, every petal that flowed in the river and every step she took on the wooden floor. I felt her pain, sensed her joy, relived her emotions and wandered back into her memories.

Of all, these words sank deep into my being:

"As a young girl, i believed that my life would never have been a struggle if Mr. Tanaka hadn't torn me away from my tipsy house. But now I know that our world, is no more permanent than a wave rising in the ocean. Whatever our struggles and triumphs, however we may suffer them, all too soon they will bleed into a wash, just like watery ink on paper." NITTA SAYURI


Arthur Golden, absolutely amazing!

the adrenaline rush

This was one of my most exciting moments. There i was driving down that road and i didnt see anything just a few minutes ago. When i come back 5 minutes later, this van is burning furiously at the corner of Taman Mayang (the road headed towards Min Tien)

Thank God that i brought my camera with me that day. The adrenaline rush was absolutely insane.

my brother is finally hitched!

hahahaha...yeah finally. At least in the eyes of the law. Though for me its not that important i.e. the church ceremony is the highlight that should mark the beginning of the union. but it was fun watching the facial expression on my brother waiting for the time to go in, the in-laws and the thought that he is finally leaving single hood. That was fun...here are a few pictures that help capture the moments.

The future generation

Here are my parents and currently their first and only grand son whom they love very much.

the indian HARVEST festival...PONGGAL

these pictures were taken during the ponggal festival celebrated at the Church of Christ the Light in Kepong for the indian community there. It was a great celebration as it was filled with much culture and community feeling. After the Eucharistic celebration, everyone sat down for a superb banana leaf rice served by the youths and leaders at the church.

loved the experience.

the passion of christ

the pictures taken here were of the youths in my parish, the church of the good shepherd in setapak. On the service of the Good Friday, they had re-enacted the passion and suffering of Christ leading to his death on the cross. often as catholics we take for granted what we do not see and it is in these moments that reminders like this make us appreciate the love that god has for us.

truly...BY HIS WOUNDS WE ARE HEALED